Lie # 1: “I love you for what you are”
…and I don’t want you to change. Well, may God be your saviour if
you believe her for this. No wonders, if sheer pampering or impressing
you might strictly be on her mind when she’s saying this. “I just
loved my wife whenever she averred this phrase. But gradually the
knick-picking started and reality dawned upon me. At times it was my
eating choice that bugged her, while at others it was my dressing style
that she wanted to improve. Yet she continued to tell the blatant lie
that she loved me for what I was,” complained Madhukar Suhas, a Mumbai-based advertising professional.
Agreed, that you don’t like this lie. But just imagine how it would
feel if on your face she told you much she hated your paunch or how bad
you looked in those lose-fitted denims. Thank her appreciating you
taking care of your confidence levels.
“What do I do? I have to blow his trumpet when he does the
right thing. After all, it was his qualities only that I married him
for. And also, it becomes important to boost his confidence at times and
those words just have the right impact,” says Madhu Chandra, a Delhi-based-teacher.
Lie detector: If you start observing the occasions when she backs
this mushy phrase, you might just realise she’s not lying at all. On
most of the occasions it comes when you have made her happy with
anything like a gift, a movie, a romantic dinner or for that matter by
doing anything and everything that she loves. You were good to her and
that’s your innate quality, which made her fall for you.
Lie # 2: You stare, I don’t care!
Either you are too lucky to have the coolest woman by your side, or
you are getting an inflated ego without any reason if you believe her
on this. No matter how hard she tries to look cool and composed, but the
fact remains that no woman loves it when her man ogles at another
woman. “After all, who wants to feel like second best? And the ‘I
don’t care attitude’ is usually to hide the vulnerability and a
pretence. Most women hate their man staring at another woman,” confesses Radhika Khattar, a Delhi-based housewife.
Lie detector: She doesn’t want to show you how she’s feeling and is
no less desperate to tell you that you are torturing her to the core.
Well, easy indications to know she’s lying can be the trail of questions
she’ll end up asking you. Casually and candidly she’ll ask you things
like ‘Isn’t she hot?’ ‘What makes her so hot? ‘Did you like her?’ She
might appear to be your best buddy, but actually she wants to ask you,
‘Do I score less that the chic you are ogling at?’ And your answer will
decide your fate not immediately, but definitely in the future, so
better beware of what you say!
Lie # 3: Your friends are cool!
This might not be a lie always, but many a times your friends are
nothing but a ‘passion spoiler’ for your girl, especially when they pop
up during private moments. “When we started dating, on many
occasions we went out with my friends. And every time I used to ask her,
‘I hope you are enjoying?’ she answered, ‘They’re cool!’ The real shock
came when one day I was planning another group date and she gave me a
good piece of her mind. It’s then that I realised that she didn’t love
them as much I thought she did. But she could have initially told me,”says Rajat Sarin, a 20-year-old college student.
“Most of the times women end up praising your friends for you.
They don’t want to hurt you by revealing the truth and hope that you’ll
understand without saying, which usually doesn’t happen,” explains psychologist, Dr Sameer Parekh.
Lie detector: A sure shot hint to the lie is written on her face.
Despite being in the group she’ll remain an outsider. The smile that’s
usually worth a million dollars might just look purely artificial and
forced. Her replies to all your enquiries will end in a cover up lie,
‘I’m fine sweet heart’ or ‘I’m enjoying myself’ and that takes you to
Lie #1. So, when you get something like this from your girl, understand
that you are getting into too much buddy-b
Lie # 4: Tell me, trust me I won’t get angry
This one is tricky, leaving you with a ditch on one side and a
bigger ditch on the other. This lie is usually thrown at you when she
wants an honest opinion and knows what it can be, but still wants to
hear it. Beware guys! Irrespective of what you say, she is going to get
furious for sure. This usually happens in questions related to her
looks, the food that she cooks, that tangy orange shirt she brought for
you etc.
“Sometimes it is tough to handle. Once, my wife asked my honest
opinion on a super tight dress that she had worn. And, I told her
honestly that she was looking like a stuffed pillow and she was mad at
me. Taking cues from my past experience; on another occasion I did my
best to flatter her. To my sheer surprise, even that made her angry and
she blamed me for not being a fair critic,” complains Suraj Malhotra, a Delhi-based architect.
Lie detector: Well, there’s no detector for this one, for
undoubtedly she’s lying. Then what’s the solution? Answers Parekh, “It’s
not that women cannot take true criticism from their man or expect
praises all the time. But what they actually expect is that criticism
should come in a softer and suggestive manner, rather than a striking
taunt on her looks. So, without being too critical or over flattering,
just tell her that she needs to work out on her minuses.”
PHEW! This was from us. Now it’s your turn to share the sweet and
salty white lies that you tell your man or your wife pours on you to
leave you playing a guessing game of truth and false.
Lie #5: “Oh! It’s fine. I’m OK”
Guards on guys! You must know that she’s not fine at all and
nothing is OK. And sooner or later you will have to bear the burnt of
her pent up emotions that she has somehow managed to hold back until
now. You’ll find her taking this emotional defense on occasions when you
may have forgotten her birthday, taken her for granted or have done
anything that hurts her.
“Whenever my girlfriend lets go off my not so fatal error with a
cool ‘it’s fine’, I know it’s nothing but the calm before a cyclone
that I am fated to face in the time to come,” shares Sandeep Sharma, a Delhi-based management student.
To portray that she doesn’t care, the emotional lady prefers taking
a refuge in this lie. Charu Marwah, a software engineer admits, “I
prefer staying that ‘It’s OK’ because if I react I’ll be blamed of being
a constant cribber, who is in complaining mode always. Though, I
actually want him to go down on his knees and plead forgiveness.”
Lie detector: Well, an experienced lover would know of the crime
that he has committed, but the amateurs should look out for her
reactions. She might not get vocal, but will do everything to make you
feel guilty about the fact that you have hurt her. From being
tight-lipped to giving the briefest responses that don’t go beyond
‘hmms, huhs or yes and no’, to mean tones and loads of sarcasm – are a
few hints that you can look out for. “Women have a tendency of
expecting their man to understand the said, as well as the unsaid, and
that leaves men in a dicey situation. And even here, by keeping quite or
going away with a small ‘I’m fine’, she expects him to know that she’s
hurt,” explains psychologist, Dr. Aruna Broota.
Credits #NL
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